Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Soccer Trouble and Gambling

So, I've tried to like soccer for quite a while. I agree that it is a worldwide sport that truly has fans on almost every continent. Also, I have no doubt that soccer players are amazing athletes in peak physical shape. The excitement of the World Cup is amazing and infectious, but I still can't get into it. I think the length and slower pace of games combined with my own soccer ignorance creates this perfect storm of "meh." However, here is the one thing that I truly dislike about soccer:

It reminds me of this:

Now, I realize all sports have this element to a degree (the NBA has increasingly become a game of floppers from Vlade Divac to Lebron himself), but it just seems to happen much more often in soccer. Can someone explain this phenomenon to me?

I bet you $10,000 (in school loan debt, so more like $-10,000) I can't pass up a chance to show how out of touch Mitt Romney is. Shoot, I'm about to lose. Okay, Mitt: if people already think you are a rich, out of touch businessman, why would you ever bet someone 10,000 bucks! Obviously, we have to hear from Jon Stewart on this:

What I'm really happy about is how they debunked Romney's later assertion that this was "an outrageous number to answer an outrageous charge," seeing as $10,000 is .005 % of your worth (am I don't that math right? 10,000 of about 200 million?). That would be outrageous as me betting someone (not counting school loans) about 75 cents (don't do the math; it will just depress you and me both). How outrageous of me to have to dig in my chain jar or under my couch cushions to pay off this lavish bet! If you're going to be someone something outrageous, it should be considered outrageous for you. So, you could have bet 500 trillion dollars or your firstborn son/daughter or a promise not to slick back your hair for a month...that would be outrageous.

Lloyd: Yeah right! I bet you 20 bucks that I can get you gambling before the end of the day.
Harry: No way.
Lloyd: "I'll give you 3-1 odds."
Harry: Nope.
Lloyd: 5-1.
Harry: Nope.
Lloyd: 10-1.
Harry: You're on!
Lloyd: "I'm gonna get ya.
Harry: nuh-uh.
Lloyd: I don't know how, but I'm gonna get ya!"

Well, it's time to get my butt to work. Later.

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