New Year's Resolutions

Well, we are now 9 days into 2012, maybe the last year on earth if the Mayans got it right, and I have yet to post some new year's resolutions. I realize that many pooh-pooh such resolution-making, pointing rightly to the short-lived nature of most resolutions or the arbitrary nature in chosing the new year for such decisions. However, I am a firm believer that anything you can do to evaluate your life and make better choices is usually a good thing. So, here's my public list of resolutions (some more serious than others).

1. Pick a grad school to attend. I know I will have to do this either way, so it may not seem like much of a resolution, but I would like to consider all of the factors and pick as wisely as I can. At this point, I'm finding location weighing more heavily in the decision. We shall see.

2. Spend less money going out to eat. This resolution is as much a new year's tradition for me as the dropping of the ball in time square. I have to say I've gotten slightly better at this towards the end of 2011, and I would like to take that momentum and run with it in 2012.

3. Listen to more classical music. I really enjoy certain classical music, but I've never attempted to be a student of it. This year, I'm going to be more systematic. January's baroque month, and we'll see where we go from there (insert "baroque" pun here). This will be supplemented with more trips to the CSO/Lyric to listen to live music because that is how God intended music to be listened to.

4. Try to eradicate my use of the word "borrow" when I mean "lend." Every time I say, "Will you borrow me a pen/book/fill-in-the-blank," a grammarian angel loses its wings.

5. Fight my own cynicism. I know people say, "Cynicism is the last refuge of the idealist," but I think cynicism is more a dangerous and (ultimately) unsuccessful way of trying to avoid pain, which in the end usually just makes one jaded to all types of true feeling besides the cynicism that seems to feed on itself.

6. Eat better. This is sort of tied to #2, but I need to add more fruit and vegetables to my life.

7. Continue running outdoors. My goal was to run outside all through winter. That has been fairly easy over the past two months, but I know February's going to have some tricks up its sleeve. We'll see if I'm up to the challenge. I could fuel my desire to run with my burning hatred for dibsing parking spots by running through the streets throwing lawn chairs and all other paraphernalia back up into yards. I think I'm on to something here!

8. Figure out how to spell "paraphernalia" on my first try.

9. Practice piano at least four times a week. Since Andrew has started coming to ResCov (which I am ecstatic about), my piano skills have atrophied. Then, when I have to play, it sounds like I'm trying out prosthetic hands for the first time or something.

10. Read good fiction. I don't want to get stuck reading my liturgy/theology books and forget my love for good fiction and the way it refreshes my soul.

And I want to listen to more songs like this (I know, I know, I already posted it on Facebook, but it so good I don't care).

Christmas Parades, Dentist's Office, and Bjorlin Christmas

Well, Christmas in Duluth has been just what the doctor ordered. It reminds me of this song that is a Duluth staple around the holidays:

Apparently, one of the local TV stations commissioned Merv Griffin to write and sing that song especially for the Christmas City of the North Parade, which is the parade held in downtown Duluth every year on the Friday before Thanksgiving. If you listen to the last 20 seconds of the song, you will hear the specific Duluth shout out. Oh, the memories from that parade! Hermantown's band would march in it every year, and I remember wondering why Duluth thought it was a good idea to hold an outdoor anything at that time of the year. Half the brass instruments would freeze up on their respective player's spit, your hands would become almost unresponsive to any brain signals, and the below freezing weather did very little for a band's intonation, believe it or not. But it was all worth it when you saw those beautiful cheerleaders in their snowmobile suits. I wonder if there was any frostbite reported post-Christmas city?

Speaking of medical attention, I made it through my dentist appointment! I walked in at 7:50 with a healthy dose of fear and trembling and was escorted into the dental chair by a hygienist that is a friend of the family's. This was good because I could shower her with excuses and caveats before she began, and she couldn't guilt trip me quite as bad knowing I could go cry to my family. Then the cleaning process began. About ten minutes in, I'm sure it looked like a reenactment of a Civil War surgery as she stopped periodically to sharpen her torture tools with the sching sching of metal against metal. At about 20 minutes I started getting lightheaded from the loss of blood as I practiced centering prayer and other forms of meditation. At 30 minutes I was debating whether to ask for a blood transfusion or local anesthesia when she said, "Well, let's just polish these things up!" Then out came the floss and the obligatory question, "So, how much do you floss?" Always believing honesty to be the best policy, I answer, "Not much." Which is true, as far as it goes. I'm not going to define what "not much" means or rub it in her face how little I've been flossing. Here's how I would graph out my flossing:

I do try really hard after to be better, but it never seems to stick. I am going to give it another college try after this cleaning. However, I don't have any cavities. The exact conversation at the end of my check-up:

Dentist: Well, I can't see anything wrong with you.

Dave: Really?

Dentist: Yep, it looks good.

Dave: It's a Christmas miracle!

Dentist: Miracle at the dentist's office...I like that!

Dave (running out so they can't change their mind): Okay, see you lat... (door slams shut and tires screech as I fly out of the parking lot).

I probably should have consumed some juice and cookies to get the blood sugar up before driving, but I'm a risk-taker.

Bjorlin Christmas (Dec. 28th) went well up at Anna and Peter's. We played some games, ate some food, and ended the night opening presents. I was ecstatic with this Duluth Pack bag:

Also, I got two pictures framed, which both look absolutely incredible. Add a couple pairs of smart wool socks and a Dylan CD and it was about as much as this boy could ask for.

Now, I'm headed down to the Brewhouse because I haven't eaten in about an hour and a half. Get ready for some food/exercise-related New Year's Resolutions on my next post after this vacation gluttony!

Christmas 2011: Road Trip Edition

I'm currently sitting in the Harju living room in Duluth feeling pretty content after a long day of driving. I have to say, this was probably the best road trip I've had with my brother in quite a long time. We had a audiobook we both could agree on (Divergent - it's like Hunger Games set in Chicago), we didn't argue at all about church/worship styles, and he didn't fake hypoglycemia the whole way! So, all in all, it was a good Christmas. I will never enjoy the drive through Wisconsin. I swear the billboards alternate between cheese and adult superstores with maybe a pro-life billboard thrown in. I think the most confusing I saw this year was: "God Bless America: Life Begins at Conception." How are those two related? It's like saying, "Happy Hanukkah: CFC's Accelerate Ozone Depletion."

Also, my stint as Christmas pastor went well. Both services went off without a hitch (I mean, our pianist who I will not name did skip the Psalter lesson Christmas Eve, but I'll let it go this time.) even if attendance was a bit slim. I think it's a bit harder to preach when there's only 25 people there because you can see everyone's instant reaction instead of focusing on the group as a whole if that makes sense. I felt like the Monsignor in the first scene at the church in Sister Act: "We are a small congregation this morning...too many mornings" (obviously the last part is not true).

And a nice ending to the night was seeing D Rose stick it to the Lakers.

The Lakers losing feels like a fulfillment of the Magnificat. You know, the proud being scattered in their conceit and the rich being sent away empty. Now if only the Packers would have lost, it truly would have been a good Christmas. Oh well, a boy can dream.

Now, we're going to start Home Alone 2, so I'm out. Wishing you and yours a Merry Christmas. I'll leave you with the third verse (in the Covenant Hymnal) of "It Came Upon a Midnight Clear," which for some reason was the verse of hymnody that struck me this year:

O you beneath life's crushing load,

whose forms are bending low,

who toil along the climbing way

with painful steps and slow;

look now, for glad and golden hours

come swiftly on the wing;

O rest beside the weary road

and hear the angels sing.

I love that last part. Sometimes when we aren't feeling the Christmas spirit (this isn't my personal experience this year, but it just struck me for some reason) or we cannot feel the hope and joy ourselves, the best we can do is sit beside the road and listen to the cosmos praise God. I like that.

Adoption, Margie's Candies, and Tebow

Well, I had a dream last night that I somehow got on an adoption list and received a call telling me that an adoption agency had a baby for me. While I was freaking out, I kept thinking, "When did I sign up for this? Did I think I was signing up for a Compassion International child and accidentally sign up for an actual child? How did anyone think I was fit to be a single parent on an income of $10,000 a year? Was it because I already had an extra room? Shouldn't I have had visitations or interviews or something?" Then, I got in a car accident on a foggy night and woke up while I was flying through the air. Overall, it was a great night of sleep.

Why didn't I know that the Beatles went to Margie's Candies after their show at Comiskey? This makes me love the place all that much more. Seriously, last night I could have been sitting at the same table that once held John, Paul, George and Ringo! I'm inspired just thinking about it.

Whenever I see that my peanut butter uses "unblanched" or "blanched" nuts, all I can think of is that these nuts hold some reference to Blanche Devereaux from the Golden Girls.

So, there's that.

In other news, Christmas is fast approaching! I have to say the lack of snow is really killing my Christmas buzz, but at this point I hope it holds off until I turn off the ignition in Duluth. Then, I could go for a blizzard (and I mean that in relation to both the weather and DQ). I will say, I am excited to be in Duluth at the Hotel Harju. Besides world peace and a return of sane politicians, I would like a Duluth Pack computer bag, framing for artwork I bought this year, smart wool socks, and Amazon/iTunes gift cards.

Well, since I mentioned the Wild's recent ascendency to power, they have lost four in a row (although getting a point out of the shootout with the Blackhawks). I knew I should have kept my mouth shut. In sports news that make me smile, the Packers losing to the Chiefs was pretty great. Hopefully, it will lead to a quick exit in the playoffs. Finally, this SNL skit, while maybe a bit sacrilegious, is also pretty funny:

What I like from a religious stand point is Jesus telling Tebow (and us all) that we have to do our own hard work (at seminary: studying; in football: stretching and reading the playbook; giving a sermon: reading commentaries and practicing) and not expect God to make up for our lack of preparation.

Okay, I need a shower something fierce after a nice jog through the neighborhood.

Books by Their Cover, Atlantis, and Yahoo!

You may not be able to judge a book by its cover, but I think you can fairly judge the publishing company. I don't understand how so many books have such unappealing covers. Seriously, sometimes I think it must be some type of aversion therapy for biblioholics.

So, just after my post about how great the Wild were doing they drop two in a row, one of which was to the Blackhawks. I should have gone with the age-old wisdom of the no-hitter; don't mention it, or you'll ruin it.

I decided I wasn't going to post The Daily Show clips for a while because I didn't want to be a one-trick pony, but...Oh my goodness! (which should make you think of Carol Burnett mocking an orphan) A clip combining John Stewart, FoxNews, the Muppets, and It's a Wonderful Life...this is like finding a unicorn, the fountain of youth, the lost city of Atlantis, my rollerblades that I lost in seventh grade when my duffle bag was stolen at the old Corey Veech memorial football field! Sit back and feast your eyes on this:

My Yahoo! account (I know, I need to make a full transition to Gmail, but there's a certain familiarity and nostalgia that goes along with Yahoo!; this is similarly why I clung to Xanga while popular opinion was rolling its gurney to the morgue) has the following headline on its homepage: "In exclusive ABC/Yahoo! interview (first of all, whoppie!, an exclusive ABC/Yahoo! interview!), Obama says, 'I want to make really good two-term president.'" I can almost guarantee this was not Obama said, unless he tricked ABC/Yahoo! and had a presi-bot give the interview - one who hadn't quite mastered the correct usage of indefinite articles.

Congratulations to my brother Stephen, who will be done with his first semester of seminary by this time tomorrow! One down, five to go!

I can't believe there are only 10 more days until Christmas! I will admit I would like to see a bit of snow, but if my luck holds it will save itself for Christmas and dump down two or three feet as I attempt to drive back to Duluth. I have done a 360 on Hwy 53 though, so I should be well-seasoned for some crazy driving.

If you are around, you can come to ResCov for an Advent Lessons and Carols on Sunday at 7 (preceded by a potluck!), a Christmas Eve service at 7, and a Christmas Day (Sunday) service at the usual 10:30. I'm the pastor in town this year, so that probably is dissuading you from coming, but maybe you should come just to see if I can keep it together! It'll be some good, ole-fashioned ecclesial rubbernecking as you drive pass the carnage (don't worry; it won't actually be bad).

Okay, I need to figure out something to do tonight. I have been a reading machine today, but I should try and leave my self-imposed dungeon for a few hours at least.

Soccer Trouble and Gambling

So, I've tried to like soccer for quite a while. I agree that it is a worldwide sport that truly has fans on almost every continent. Also, I have no doubt that soccer players are amazing athletes in peak physical shape. The excitement of the World Cup is amazing and infectious, but I still can't get into it. I think the length and slower pace of games combined with my own soccer ignorance creates this perfect storm of "meh." However, here is the one thing that I truly dislike about soccer:

It reminds me of this:

Now, I realize all sports have this element to a degree (the NBA has increasingly become a game of floppers from Vlade Divac to Lebron himself), but it just seems to happen much more often in soccer. Can someone explain this phenomenon to me?

I bet you $10,000 (in school loan debt, so more like $-10,000) I can't pass up a chance to show how out of touch Mitt Romney is. Shoot, I'm about to lose. Okay, Mitt: if people already think you are a rich, out of touch businessman, why would you ever bet someone 10,000 bucks! Obviously, we have to hear from Jon Stewart on this:

The Daily Show
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What I'm really happy about is how they debunked Romney's later assertion that this was "an outrageous number to answer an outrageous charge," seeing as $10,000 is .005 % of your worth (am I don't that math right? 10,000 of about 200 million?). That would be outrageous as me betting someone (not counting school loans) about 75 cents (don't do the math; it will just depress you and me both). How outrageous of me to have to dig in my chain jar or under my couch cushions to pay off this lavish bet! If you're going to be someone something outrageous, it should be considered outrageous for you. So, you could have bet 500 trillion dollars or your firstborn son/daughter or a promise not to slick back your hair for a month...that would be outrageous.

Lloyd: Yeah right! I bet you 20 bucks that I can get you gambling before the end of the day.

Harry: No way.

Lloyd: "I'll give you 3-1 odds."

Harry: Nope.

Lloyd: 5-1.

Harry: Nope.

Lloyd: 10-1.

Harry: You're on!

Lloyd: "I'm gonna get ya.

Harry: nuh-uh.

Lloyd: I don't know how, but I'm gonna get ya!"

Well, it's time to get my butt to work. Later.

On Technology and Negative Newt (Among Other Things)

Well, it looks like the rest of the songs are vying for second place because "O Holy Night" just won't let up. Three versions of "O Holy Night" that you must have.

1. Mariah Carey - duh.

2. Tracy Chapman - it is acoustic and stripped down and beautiful.

3. Bing Crosby - He can sing the phonebook, as they say, and it would be beautiful.

And apparently I have 16 versions of this song on iTunes. Yikes. Some other good versions: Shelby Lynn, Puppini Sisters, Melissa McClelland. Versions I could do without: Glee and Chris Tomlin.

Either God and Tim Tebow have worked out a Tebowic covenant or Tebow sold his soul to the devil a la Damn Yankees. There is no other way to explain the craziness that has been these last eight games. He doesn't throw completions, half the time looks way out of place in the NFL, but then always manages to win games in heroic fashions. The end of that Bears game was pretty crazy (I could hear my upstairs neighbor pacing and stomping, and it didn't sound like happy pacing or stomping).

See, I know Bears fans are going to say, "Well, what about your Vikings? There's nothing to brag about there!" Yes, this is exactly the point. We're so bad that right now that losing is in our best interest, and the season has been out of reach for quite some time. You, on the other hand, should have been able to clinch a playoff spot with a bit of decent play, yet it's been choke-city. And how about those Minnesota Wild? First place, sixth straight on the road, 17 out of their last 21, and most points in the NHL. I have to say it's nice to have some good hockey in Minnesota. Also, the University of Minnesota-Duluth (UMD) Bulldogs have a 14 game unbeaten streak going and are rated first in the country!

Remember when Newt Gingrich said he wasn't going to negative on Romney? Well, it didn't last long during the debate, but I did quite enjoy his zinger and how aghast Romney is (and the crowd for that matter) that Gingrich could possibly state what is obviously true. I have to admit that I kind of liked Gingrich for that 2.3 seconds. Then he kept talking...

So, after reading Infinite Jest, a sprawling, futuristic novel by now-deceased author David Foster Wallace about technological entertainment basically overtaking society, I think I've become convinced that I don't ever want a smart phone - something I've been mulling over for quite a while. I think there's something weird about always being in contact with people by several simultaneous forms of media (phone, text, email, chat, facebook), having all questions immediately answered at the touch of a button (now you don't have to wait for anything!), and boiling communication down to the lowest common denominator. Call me a luddite, but I don't want people to get a hold of me whenever they want by multiple forms of communication; I don't want to spend all my free time looking at a phone. Knowing myself, I would be much too tempted to play on my smart phone during any conversation/lecture/homily/meeting that I arbitrarily decide doesn't need my full attention. I think you miss out when you do this and have a hard time living in any kind of present reality. Plus, people's phone etiquette is already so terrible, this just adds to most people's rudeness (including my own). No, I think I'm better off with the dumb phone. Now I may have to find a carabiner and some rope because I'm up pretty high on this horse/soapbox. "On belay? Belay on!"

Only one more week of Advent. It kind of makes me sad that Advent is only four weeks, but c'est la calendrier liturgique. But you should all come to our Advent Lessons and Carols next Sunday night at 7 p.m. preceded by a potluck at 5:30. It's probably going to be my Advent highlight.